Contentment: Accepting Myself For Who I Am

She is so beautiful!

She is so skinny. 

Her kids are always so clean.

She has her hair fixed and makeup on!

Her house belongs in a magazine. 

I wish I had my life together like her...

I've been known to utter these same sentences under my breath a time or two. Have you?

Most of my adult life has been spent asking the Lord why He created me the way He did. I mean, I'm a procrastinator, disorganized, forgetful, flighty, overweight, and clutter is my BFF. I pile clothes, and mail, and shoes. I start projects, but hardly ever finish them. The majority of my life is chaos. 

If you're picturing a scene from a hoarding show, it's not THAT bad. I keep a fairly clean home, we just have so much stuff. And the stuff consumes me. It consumes me so much that I get overwhelmed and shut down, ignoring all responsibility of being an adult, especially when my kids are away.

When my kids come home, I feel inadequate, and flustered, and mostly like a failure. 

How do they do it? How do those women make it look so easy?

Truth is, they don't.

I once heard a wise woman say, "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides."

She may appear to have it altogether, but on the inside she's fighting the very same battle as you. She's judging her weight, her character, her actions, her appearance, her worth, her value. She's trying to fake her way through, one smile at a time. 

How do we stop comparing? How do we stop feeling guilty? 

How do we accept ourselves for who we are?

For starters you could:

1. Read Your Bible - 2 Timothy 3: 16-17 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Okay, okay, I know. When do we have time to study God's word when we have piles of laundry to finish and dishes overflowing the sink? In September I started using a daily scripture writing plan provided by The Busy Mom. The idea is to spend 10 mins a day in your Bible, writing out God's Word. I was really fancy at first but quickly realized just writing them was enough for me. It has changed me, stretched me, and helped me get the daily dose of God that I have been so desperately craving. The Bible is full of wisdom and real stories of real people who are just like you and me. They struggled with sin, they lied, murdered, they snapped at their husbands, they lost everything. There is something for everyone to relate to.

2. Find Your Spiritual Gift - What motivates you in your walk with the Lord? If you are unsure of where you might fit, take this spiritual gifts test to see what areas you excel in. I decided to take the test last week, since it had been awhile, and I was surprised by the results. My top 5 Gifts in order are: Exhortation, Service, Helps, Mercy, and Giving. Exhortation is what surprised me. It's defined as the divine strength or ability to strengthen, comfort or urge others to action through the written or spoken word and Biblical truth. I have never been one to quote scripture to someone, or get up in front of others to speak, or feel as though I am urging others to Biblical truth. Instead of telling myself that I’m not good at those things, I was reminded that I am. I love listening to people and encouraging them! I love helping out a friend who is feeling overwhelmed with their new role as a mom. All of those are qualities of exhortation. Find your gift and do it well.  

3. Be Transparent - James 5: 16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect." Being your complete self in front of someone can be really scary. What if they think I'm just too weird or awkward (I am so awkward), or what if they think I'm just too much to handle? Breaking down walls and letting people in is one of the hardest hurdles to jump in relationships. We want to keep all of our imperfections to ourselves, fearing that if we let someone even see a glimpse of the real us, we will appear weak. When we talk about our struggles, we become real. When we become real, we allow ourselves to be loved. If you are facing hardship, tell a friend. Chances are, they have been through a similar experience and can offer sound advice. If you are happy, tell a friend! If you need encouragement, tell a friend. We are not meant to carry burdens alone. 

4. Laugh It Off - Psalm 126:2-3 says, “Then our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with joyful songs. Then the nations said, “The LORD has done spectacular things for them.” The LORD has done spectacular things for us. We are overjoyed. Let’s be real here. We all have quirks. There are personality traits about me (listed above) that I am not thrilled about. I can either get really frustrated at myself and cry, or I can laugh at my shortcomings and move on. The majority of the time I cry, but I am getting better at laughing it off. The Lord didn’t create me to be a task oriented person. If I spend my whole life crying and getting frustrated about it, I’m just wasting time. I am feeling more at peace with how I was created. Laughter brings joy to all situations and boosts your mood. I find that I am able to accomplish more tasks, feel a little more comfortable in my skin, and recognize that I am not perfect.

So, now what?

Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, remember that they are in the same boat as you. Remember that you are not alone. Remember that our quirks are what makes us different. It’s okay to have weaknesses. It’s okay to have frustrations.

Just don’t camp out there.

Accepting who you are is infectious. People will begin to see a change in you.

You will then see yourself how others see you. And that my friends will bring joy to others.