She is so beautiful!
She is so skinny.
Her kids are always so clean.
She has her hair fixed and makeup on!
Her house belongs in a magazine.
I wish I had my life together like her...
I've been known to utter these same sentences under my
breath a time or two. Have you?
Most of my adult life has been spent asking the Lord why He
created me the way He did. I mean, I'm a procrastinator, disorganized,
forgetful, flighty, overweight, and clutter is my BFF. I pile clothes, and
mail, and shoes. I start projects, but hardly ever finish them. The majority of
my life is chaos.
If you're picturing a scene from a hoarding show, it's not THAT bad. I keep a fairly clean home, we
just have so much stuff. And the stuff consumes me. It consumes me so much that
I get overwhelmed and shut down, ignoring all responsibility of being an adult,
especially when my kids are away.
When my kids come home, I feel inadequate, and flustered, and mostly like a failure.
How do they do it? How do those women make it look so easy?
Truth is, they don't.
I once heard a wise woman say, "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides."
She may appear to have it altogether, but on the inside she's fighting the very same battle as you. She's judging her weight, her character, her actions, her appearance, her worth, her value. She's trying to fake her way through, one smile at a time.
How do we stop comparing? How do we stop feeling guilty?
How do we accept ourselves for who we are?
For starters you could:
1. Read Your Bible - 2 Timothy 3: 16-17 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for
rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man
of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Okay,
okay, I know. When do we have time to study God's word when we have piles of
laundry to finish and dishes overflowing the sink? In September I started using
a daily scripture writing plan provided by The Busy Mom. The idea is to
spend 10 mins a day in your Bible, writing out God's Word. I was really fancy
at first but quickly realized just writing them was enough for me. It has
changed me, stretched me, and helped me get the daily dose of God that I have
been so desperately craving. The Bible is full of wisdom and real stories of
real people who are just like you and me. They struggled with sin, they lied,
murdered, they snapped at their husbands, they lost everything. There is
something for everyone to relate to.
2. Find Your Spiritual Gift - What
motivates you in your walk with the Lord? If you are unsure of where you might
fit, take this spiritual gifts test to
see what areas you excel in. I decided to take the test last week, since it had
been awhile, and I was surprised by the results. My top 5 Gifts in order are:
Exhortation, Service, Helps, Mercy, and Giving. Exhortation is what surprised
me. It's defined as the divine strength or ability to strengthen, comfort
or urge others to action through the written or spoken word and Biblical truth.
I have never been one to quote scripture to someone, or get up in front of
others to speak, or feel as though I am urging others to Biblical truth. Instead
of telling myself that I’m not good at those things, I was reminded that I am.
I love listening to people and encouraging them! I love helping out a friend
who is feeling overwhelmed with their new role as a mom. All of those are
qualities of exhortation. Find your gift and do it well.
3. Be Transparent - James 5: 16 says, "Therefore,
confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.
The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its
effect." Being your
complete self in front of someone can be really scary. What if they think I'm
just too weird or awkward (I am so awkward), or what if they think I'm just too
much to handle? Breaking down walls and letting people in is one of the hardest
hurdles to jump in relationships. We want to keep all of our imperfections to
ourselves, fearing that if we let someone even see a glimpse of the real us, we
will appear weak. When we talk about our struggles, we become real. When we
become real, we allow ourselves to be loved. If you are facing hardship, tell a
friend. Chances are, they have been through a similar experience and can offer
sound advice. If you are happy, tell a friend! If you need encouragement, tell
a friend. We are not meant to carry burdens alone.
4.
Laugh It Off - Psalm 126:2-3 says, “Then our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with joyful songs. Then the nations said,
“The LORD has done spectacular things for them.” The LORD has done
spectacular things for us. We are overjoyed. Let’s be real here. We all have quirks. There are
personality traits about me (listed above) that I am not thrilled about. I can
either get really frustrated at myself and cry, or I can laugh at my
shortcomings and move on. The majority of the time I cry, but I am getting
better at laughing it off. The Lord didn’t create me to be a task oriented
person. If I spend my whole life crying and getting frustrated about it, I’m
just wasting time. I am feeling more at peace with how I was created. Laughter
brings joy to all situations and boosts your mood. I find that I am able to
accomplish more tasks, feel a little more comfortable in my skin, and recognize
that I am not perfect.
So, now what?
Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to
someone else, remember that they are in the same boat as you. Remember that you
are not alone. Remember that our quirks are what makes us different. It’s okay
to have weaknesses. It’s okay to have frustrations.
Just don’t camp out there.
Accepting who you are is infectious. People
will begin to see a change in you.
You will then see yourself how others see you. And that
my friends will bring joy to others.